Prince Harry has spoken of how difficult it was when his Mother died. His way of coping was to put his head in the sand and carry on….which got me thinking about the Dad’s who experience loss in Miscarriage.
Dad’s Suffer After Miscarriage
We focus on the women, because physically it is her that is carrying the baby and rightly so, it is incredibly devastating, however their partners often get overlooked.
Burying Grief in the Sand
I know my husband didn’t know what to do to help. After speaking to and working with men after miscarriage, often they feel their feelings are overlooked. This is mainly because they are supporting their partner and bury their grief. We are so wrapped up in our grief, that we don’t or can’t see what is going on for them. Let’s face it, they are pretty good at disguising it!
Acknowledge your Loss
My thoughts are going out to all the men today who have been in a relationship where your partner has miscarried, and experienced pregnancy loss.
I acknowledge your loss, your dream of a son or daughter has been shattered. You have suffered a loss too. We appreciate how you held us through our trauma, how you were always there even if you didn’t know what to do or say. Even if you said the “wrong thing” or stuck your head in the sand. We acknowledge your pain and I hope you were or are now able to express your feelings around this loss. It’s really ok to talk about it if you haven’t already.
- Don’t bury it in the sand any longer
- Don’t keep strong and carry on
- Don’t say nothing – nothing is the worst thing you can say
- Do talk to your mates
- Do talk to your partner (gently & kindly)
- Do talk to a therapist of some kind – it will help!
- Do say how you feel